“Don’t Mind Me – I’m Just Your Astrological Mirror”
Beware of astrologers projecting their stuff onto you. Here’s what happened to me the other day.
I go to various astrologers’ groups. Obviously, it’s important to do this in order to talk about work, keep up-to-date with new ideas and exchange insights. Usually, the meetings are hugely enjoyable because I get to talk about astrology, my favourite subject, and hang out with some nice people.
If we feel its relevant to the subject, we bring our own charts.
So this time I did. Mistake.
Things went swimmingly, insights were made, brownies were eaten. Then at the end of the evening, this person, whom I’d never met before, cornered me intently and fixed me with a basilisk eye. Clutching a copy of my chart, he began to tell me about myself, pointing out all kinds of deep psychological flaws and hidden hang ups that I probably had been fighting for years.
Not only was it all rather startling news to me; what he said was so far off the mark, it was ludicrous. So I tried not to laugh and made my escape. I hope politely – I have a 7th house Sun.
I realised, of course, that he was not just reading squares for trines, but he was reading himself in me. He was using me as a mirror. And let me tell you, none of it was nice.
It’s funny because the subject under discussion was Neptune – the foggy planet which shows us where we project our own dreams or nightmares.
But I got a salutary reminder about bad astrology out of this encounter. If had not known my stuff, I might have left that do feeling pretty bad about myself.
As it was, I left with these two thought: “Never assume that you know your client better than they know themselves. And always ask questions to make sure you’re finding the right story.”
That sounds horrible. People regularly do this to me in my everyday life. “Read this book, it’ll be right up your street…” (it never is) is not so bad, but they often make such sweeping assumptions that I’ve sometimes doubted my own persona. I’m fiesty enough and my friends know who I am, so why do strangers do it? Are some of us so reflective? Or just a white screen for their own projections? Wonder what they’ve got in their charts that make them do it – or what I’ve got in mine that makes me (a Pisces) so susceptible?
You got it in one.
Pisces is the ultimate mirror sign – and if you happen to be a fish it can get really annoying being other people’s mirror. Usually, the less well they know you, the worse it is, but sometimes even your nearest and dearest can forget (momentarily) that you are you.
Of course, if you have a strong Neptune on one of the angles, that can have the same effect.
Tuppenny’s worth asks how does a new client know if an astrologer is projecting their stuff onto the client?
That’s a good question.
Here are two important things to notice.
Does the astrologer ask questions?
Does s/he listen to the answers?
Because there are always a number of narratives that an astrologer can draw out of a chart, an initial consultation is an exploration of your psyche and your life story, which you should do together.
People live the same chart in quite different ways, and it’s the astrologer’s job to figure out how the person they’re talking to is living their chart. I notice that people often have already resolved “difficult” aspects in quite unexpected and creative ways.
The other thing to pay close attention to is whether what the astrologer is saying resonates with you. (By the way, if it does, you should say so, so the s/he knows she’s going in the right direction.) If it just sounds (or reads) wrong, when you say so, does the astrologer explore alternatives? Or does s/he just plough on?
If there’s anything really left field about which the atrologer is very insistent, watch out.
Another thing is this: does s/he sound like a textbook? Or like her interpretations are rehearsed?
Your first consultation should be a dialogue. But a lot also depends on how self-aware you are.
From the astrologer’s point of view there is this problem. A lot of people have an area of their life which they mythologise (often where Neptune is) and they can’t face hearing or telling the truth about it. This has to be treated sensitively and carefully.
I do do the occasional “blind” reading, by which I mean I look at a chart and do a written report. So there is no dialogue.
This has worked surprisingly well, but when I have finished and am busy editing, I always ask myself if there’s any projection going on.
This is such an interesting question I think I might do a full post on it some time, because there is more to explore.
oh and one more thing.
How do you feel when you come away from the reading?
You should feel energised and empowered.
If you feel unsettled and drained, then there’s something wrong.
I am both a psychotherapist, who practiced astrology before training and work as a psychotherapist. Years ago – during my psychology studies I received an astrology reading from a VERY prominent astrologer. He told me many things about my self, all about my past lives. They did not ring true at any level of my being. When I told him so, he proceeded to justify it astrologically why I had not inkling of it. I left feeling as if I had been slimmed, wasted money, and never seen. In the back of my mind I wondered if I did not have some deep repressed material, until years later I met an international astrologer and healer, who had studied with him told me it was not uncommon, in his experience, for this person to project his stuff onto others.
Ethics are always important. Primary DO NO HARM, and then KNOW THY SELF.
Yes, there are many different ways of expressing the energies of planet,sign, house and aspect, your astrologer should be listening and asking questions also. Mostly trust yourself, what feels right or not.
Thank you Christina, I am enjoying tuning into your insights and reflections. This one is important to me as well as others I am sure.
Quite the violation of your spiritual boundaries, which amateurs are fond of doing, irregardless of what they claim is the ‘tool of their trade’. Most are just tools!
God, I hate hearing garbagelike that. Astrology–like psychology–can be devastating in the hands of a toxic person…like a weapon of mass destruction.
Donna Cunningham
And, unfortunately, both disciplines attract that kind of person.